She's Breaking
by PHAOE
Summary: Her control of herself, of her life, is starting to fall apart. RobinRaven


well, well, well. this is going to be my attempt at a chapter story; i've finished with one-shots… for now… on that note, everything that has happened in my one-shots (excluding _but, inside i am smiling_) has happened in this fiction. so, you may want to take a look at those (_a revealing look inside _and _asking for trust)_, but by no means are those prerequisites to this story. and no, that was not a shameless plug.

i'm warning you on the pairings now: this will be a robin/raven fic; although, it won't be an out and out blatant experience.

disclaimer for all chapters: i only own my ideas… and even those aren't copyrighted…

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She's Breaking

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I almost hadn't made it.

I shudder at the thought, but know deep within me that it is true: I almost hadn't made it.

Another moment and it would have been too late. I would have been too late. There wouldn't have been anything that I could have done, if I'd arrived a moment later.

I had told her that I could help her, that she could trust me.

Another few seconds and I wouldn't have made it.

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I'd awoken in the church: Unsure of how I'd gotten there for a moment, unsure that I was even in a church. I'd opened my eyes to darkness; my head pounding, with a wave of dizziness pressing down on me. I'd been disoriented for a moment. I couldn't remember how I had come to this dark place, why my head hurt and why I had even been knocked unconscious.

After a moment, the shadows had begun to take shape around me: Dark columns became wooden pews; flickering lights, threatening to wink out, that became candles on an alter; dull colors that barely touched the darkness became dusty stained glass. I could smell the dust. I could smell the faint hint of mold that rose from the carpet that I'd found myself sprawled on.

It had been a church that we had sought our sanctuary; it had been in that church that I'd climbed my way back to consciousness.

I had raised myself up from the fetal position I'd been in, palm pressed against my forehead. It was while I sat there that the events of the night had come back to me; not in flashes, but in its entirety. Remembering, I had gritted my teeth. I had forced my way painfully to my feet. I had ignored my throbbing head. I had stood and forgotten everything but her. I had fled from the church: From the sanctuary that she had left me behind in.

From the moment I'd stirred, I'd been aware of her; I could feel her distress, her fear. It felt as if her very soul was calling to me, and I had followed it out of the church and into the night.

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When I had found Raven, HE was with her. HE held her immobile in a motionless world.

As I had drawn nearer to them, I could see her bare skin, pale and almost shimmering against the dark night. I'd felt the fear rolling off of her so thick and black I could almost taste it in my mouth, and had been sure that if I had reached out for it, my hand would have touched fear itself. The strength of that fear and that it was Raven who was afraid, had, for the first time that night, struck fear in me as well, and I wasn't even sure why. But I'd known, somehow, that it wasn't just her appearance that had changed tonight.

I was almost there when I'd heard an agonized scream of rage and pain; I had felt it wash over me, and seen it move on to the cover the entire city. Distantly I had heard the city coming alive again below me as I'd continued forward with a renewed urgency.

I'd glanced up at the two figures silhouetted against the sky in time to see Slade release his hold that he had had on her. My breath had caught in my throat.

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Raven's limp body is plummeting towards the ground as I fly towards it. I know that I only have one shot at doing this: If I miss, it will be over. Breath still caught in my throat, and feeling an unexplainable ache from somewhere within, I am suddenly on her. I reach for her with my free hand, crushing her body against mine. Together we continue to forward, slowed only slightly from the force with which I have caught her. Pressing a button releases the grappling hook that we swing from, depositing us onto a roof. I hold her near, gently trying to cushion the fall so as not to jar her, afraid she will break. I kneel on cold, hard concrete, my eyes never leaving her face.

She lies so still in my arms. I feel the coldness of her bared skin through my gloves, my uniform. Still aching inside, I reach a finger out to stroke down her smooth cheek. At my touch, I hear her groan and her eyes flutter open; she looks up at me from within the safety of my arms.

"Robin?" Her whisper is weak, but I can hear the hope in it.

I smile down at her as I reassure with both words and touch; my hands move gently over her shoulder, her side, in small circles. My tone and my caress are soothing, and I feel her body relax into mine as her eyes close; I know she has drifted off. Pulling her closer still, I stand and hold her cradled in my arms, nestled against my chest. My cape falls forward, around her, protecting her from the world, almost obscuring her from view; only the tips of her toes and the top of her silken head, where it is snugged up against my neck, are visible. Slowly, so as not to disturb her, I make my way back to back to our team.

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They are waiting, silently, for us beside the T-Car. I see their faces, foreheads creased with worry; suddenly break into wide grins as they catch sight of us. They run the rest of the way, their celebration follows behind them: Starfire erupts into happy giggles, clapping her hands proclaiming that we are victorious; Cyborg talks of the ease with which we beat Slade; and Beastboy immediately starts in with his teasing of our suggestive position. I say nothing to them as, together, we make our way to the waiting vehicles. Starfire and Beastboy clamber into the back of the T-Car as I lower Raven into the passenger seat. When I straighten Cyborg meets my eyes over the roof; I tell him that I will see them at the Tower, and he nods before climbing into the T-Car with the rest of our team. I back away from them and close the door, shutting Raven safely away inside.

I make my way to the R-Cycle and straddle it before turning to watch the T-Car as it starts and begins to drive off. The ache grows inside of me.

I don't want Starfire to lose her sweet naïveté.

I don't want Cyborg to lose his tireless optimism.

I don't want Beastboy to lose his lighthearted humor.

I don't want to lose Raven to the growing darkness.

Another few seconds and I wouldn't have made it.

I cast a haunted look around me. Shadows seem to press in around me; it would be easy to get lost in corruption, to lose sight of our hope. I lower my head and turn the key in the ignition. I'm suddenly in a hurry to catch the fading red taillights before they disappear from view: I don't want to lose sight of my friends.

I don't want to lose sight of our innocence.

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hmmm. since starting on fanfiction, i have come to two conclusions: (1) first person and/or present tense is fun; and (2) i don't much care for dialogue. kinda funny, since the last time i wrote a fiction story, i think i hated both; of course, i think the last time i wrote fiction was like ten years ago… at least… and i burned those stories. literally.

so, future chapters will be in all assorted viewpoints (depending on what sets the tone the best), and will also include dialogue; which, for some reason, is more or less necessary.

i would say that i'm being melodramatic, but the episode was pretty damn hammy itself. shrug.

until next chapt. world.

SKWRUS PHAOE


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